Negotiations
I woke up the other day absolutely dreading my scheduled run. I’m rarely excited to run but this particular morning it took everything I had to force myself out the door. It was so cold I felt like I was back in Michigan, in reality it was just SoCal cold at 40 degrees. I was tired and hungry from all of the previous training. I still pressed on and forced myself to head out on the run. Often after a warm-up I can get into a groove and cruise for a few miles. Not this time. Every step was a mental battle and even physically my legs felt heavy, my heart rate was sky high and I was breathing abnormally hard.
My planned run was for time, 90 minutes. I was doing an out and back so I knew I had to just go out 45 minutes and turn around. This is when the negotiations started. I looked at the time and instantly, my mind said, “well, if you go out 45 minutes you might not make it back in time for work. Your pace is slower than planned, why don’t you turn around at 30 minutes to be safe?” I heard these thoughts but hadn’t quite given in yet. I kept running and thinking, calculating in my mind how much time I had. While all of these thoughts were racing, a voice, a very faint and distant voice was trying to yell. “Come on, you know these are just excuses, even if you run an extra 15 minutes you’ll make it just fine.” I heard the voice and reluctantly pressed on.
Normally, by this point in the run, I’d be warmed-up, my legs would loosen and my heart rate would even out. Not on this dreadful morning. The negotiations begin again. “You aren’t fully recovered, that’s why your heart rate is high and your legs feel heavy.” That was probably true. “You’re also a little dehydrated because this is an early run for you.” Also, true. The faint, distant voice yells again, “STOP, you are fine, yes, you’re not fully recovered but you’re not sick. Just slow your pace a little and move on”. Once again, I can’t ignore the rational voice, so I continue. I’m summarizing all of this of course. In reality these negotiations were non-stop. Constantly telling me to quit. I had to just listen and give them the middle finger by placing one foot in front of the other for 45 minutes until I reached my turn around point.
I did end up finishing the entire 90 minute run and after the turn around point the negotiations basically stopped because I truly had no choice but to get back home. The run never really got easier. My legs were heavy, my heart rate was high and I was huffing and puffing the whole way. This is not meant to be a motivational story of you can do anything you put your mind to. I wasn’t driven by motivation during this run. I was very motivated to quit. I finished the run and was able to ignore the voice because of discipline. This run was around my 4th or 5th week of a plan I had set up. I had been very structured up to this point and set myself up with a good foundation. The first few weeks I was motivated. I was excited to be training for something, I didn’t need any willpower or someone telling me you need to do this. It was fun. Eventually that motivation died out. But I had a plan and my foundation had been set. Motivation was done and discipline took over. I had to train, or else I couldn’t finish my competition run.
Motivation will leave you. Discipline and structure will keep you going, if you set yourself up. This goes for all things in life. That's why people wake up early every day to go to work even if they aren’t motivated. It is required. If you want to reach certain fitness goals, it has to be the same. It is a requirement not an option.